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Weddings are universal, but the way in which they are celebrated are not. Seeing how other nations celebrate
weddings offers an interesting glimpse into their culture. Perhaps here you may find an interesting tradition that
will lend importance or merriment to your wedding.
- In Ireland , English lavender is a traditional herb often used in the bouquet. Also, it is common for the bride
to braid her hair; this is considered a sacred way to retain female power and luck.
- In the Slovak heritage, it is tradition for the bride to put a kerchief on her head, take a broom,
and sweep and dance around the reception hall to a polka.
- In Germany, it is a tradition for a man (the best man or a groomsman) to take (steal)
the bride from the reception and take her to a local bar. They drink champagne until
the groom finds them, and then he has to pay for all that they drank!
- In Finland there are a few wedding traditions (perhaps adopted from other countries)
that have become quite popular recently:
To foresee how many children the newlywed couple will have, after the reception
people count how many grains of rice can be found in the bride's hair.
Another way to predict the number of children: the bride's mother-in-law or
godmother puts a china plate on top of the bride's head when the newlyweds begin their
first dance (in Finland, it's usually a waltz). After the plate has fallen, the pieces of
broken china indicate the number of children the couple will have.
The last dance at the reception is called the weaning-waltz. The band plays a waltz (no singing),
and women start to dance with the bride and men with the groom. Even the children can
take part. Each person dances only for a moment with the bride/groom. The
dance is a humorous way to test how quickly the bride and groom will forget
each other. At the end of the weaning-waltz, the newlyweds can dance together again.
- Victorian weddings often held what is called a "ribbon pull." A sterling silver
charm is purchased for each of the bridesmaids. A ribbon is tied to each one and the baker
places them between layers of the wedding cake as it is being assembled. Before the bride and
groom share the first slice of cake, the bridesmaids gather so that each can pull one ribbon,
claiming a "ribbon pull" that holds the promise of her future (e.g., next to marry, lucky in life, hope, adventure).
- Common to families of Polish descent and in Western Pennsylvania is the "Bridal Dance."
The DJ plays a polka and guests line up to dance with the bride. The maid of honor wears an apron and
collects the money given by the guest for the dance. After all guests have danced with the bride, they
form a tight circle around the bride. The groom tries to break through the circle while the guests
try hard to keep him out. Once he breaks through, he picks up his bride and carries her away to their honeymoon.
The money collected is passed on to the newlyweds to take on their honeymoon.
- In the upper Midwestern states it is a tradition to auction the garter instead of tossing it.
The best man carries a hat around the crowd as the guests put dollar bills in it. Someone acts
as auctioneer to count the money and, after a specified time has run out (usually 20 minutes or so),
to give the garter to the last person to put a dollar in the hat. The bride and groom then use
the money for their honeymoon.
- One Polish tradition is the "unveiling." Everyone forms a circle around the bride.
Her mother takes the bride's veil off (symbolizing the bride's becoming a woman) and places
it on the head of the maid of honor who then waltzes with the best man for a few minutes.
She then passes the veil to the next bridesmaid, etc. Each bridesmaid represents an angel bestowing gifts on the couple.
- In the Jewish faith, there is a beautiful tradition called "Krenzl" (crowning) which honors
the mother of the bride when her last daughter is wed. The mother is seated in the center of
the room and is crowned with a wreath of flowers, then all the daughters dance around her to a
very lively Yiddish song. Today, some have extended this custom to include both mother and father, and to be
done when the last child - son or daughter - is wed.
- At a Cypriote wedding reception money is pinned to the bride and groom during their first dance to give them something
to start life with.
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There is a Chinese tradition that says a bride and groom should marry on the half-hour, rather than the top of the hour.
This way the couple begins their new lives together on an "up-swing" as the hands of the clock will be moving up, not down!
- In Fiji, the groom gives his bride's father a gift symbolizing wealth and status.
- Welsh brides used to give their attendants myrtle in their bouquets, to be planted later; tradition held
that if the plant grew, the grower would be married.
- In India, sweets (to represent a sweet life), eggs (to represent fertility), and money
(to represent prosperity) are important elements of a traditional wedding ceremony.
- During the Middle Ages, some weddings were even held in cemeteries,
since it was believed the life-affirming act of marriage could halt plagues.
- If an English bride passed a chimney sweep on her way to the church,
and the chimney sweep kissed her, it was considered good luck.
- In Holland and Switzerland a pine tree,
a symbol of fertility and luck, was once planted outside a new couple's home.
- In South Africa, both bride's
and groom's parents carried a fire from the hearths of their own homes and took this fire to the new couple's home
to begin the fire in their home.
- In Armenia, two white doves were set free to symbolize love and happiness.
- The wedding cake in Bermuda was a multi-level fruitcake and included a small cedar tree on top.
This tree was planted and is supposed to grow with the love of the bride and groom.
- In Japan, brides change their bridal attire several times throughout the wedding day.
- In England, the bride wouldn't allow her married name to be used before the wedding for it was considered bad luck.
- In Italy, the groom's tie was cut into pieces and sold to the guests at the reception. The money earned is used for the honeymoon.
- In Italy, flowers decorated the front of the bridal car so that the bride and groom would have happy travels throughout life together.
- In Japan, ducks or a goose and gander were included in the processional because they mate for life and are a symbol for fidelity.
- During the reception in Spain, wedding guests danced a special dance and then present gifts to the bride.
- An early American custom is for the bride to pin a small pouch to her wedding petticoat.
This pouch contained a small piece of bread, cloth, wood and a single one-dollar bill.
This ensured that there would be enough food, clothes, shelter and money for the future couple.
- Weddings before Christianity The juridical procedure in Norse society was complicated, but three ceremonial actions seem to have been necessary to make the marriage complete:
1.Engagement, which meant that the man and the woman were promised to each other. This was part of the deal, and economic compensation was necessary if one side wanted to break the engagement.
2.Wedding, where the bride was formally given to the bridegroom by her guardian, usually her father. This was done at a feast in the bridegroom's home. "I give thee my daughter" was the formula spoken by the guardian.
3.Bedding, where the couple went to bed together in the presence of witnesses. This was not a pornographic "live show"! The witnesses left before any sexual action began. But the fact that the couple had gone to bed together was firmly established.
With Christianity came a different perspective. Marriage was now a sacrament, instituted by God and therefore something that concerned both church and society outside the two families. Mutual consent was demanded, and the husband was expected to be faithful. These were new ideas.
- Medieval wedding ceremonies
The first part of the ceremony took place outside the church door. At cathedrals with several entrances, there was usually a designated "bridal door" for this. The actions done there corresponded to the functions of the old germanic ceremony. Even though it was now led by a priest, it was essentially a secular act by which the union of the families was confirmed.
When people had arrived at the church door, the men were placed on the right side and the women on the left. If the bride was a virgin, her hands were bare. If she was a widow, she wore gloves. In some countries the most important parts were conducted in the vernacular, in others everything was in Latin. In the latter case, the priest would read the words that the bride and bridegroom were supposed to repeat.
The ceremony at the church door began with the mutual consent of the man and the woman. The priest asked the man if he would take the woman for his wife. The man replied "Yes", and then turned to the woman and said: "I take thee, N. now to be my wife, in the name of the Lord". The same was then repeated for the woman.
Next, the priest blessed the ring. Only one ring was used, given by the man to the woman. The ring was sprinkled with holy water, the bridegroom took the ring and moved it so that it came to be placed in turn on the bride's thumb, index finger and long finger - where it stayed. This was accompanied by the priest (or the bridegroom) saying: "In the name of the Father - and the Son - and the Holy Spirit". Non-Scandinavian rituals have different wordings and movements, where the ring would end on what we call the ring finger.
Now the priest would bless the couple, after which the whole party moved into the church. According to some rituals, the couple held burning candles in their hands during the procession.
Inside, a "bridal mass" was celebrated. It consisted of prayers, hymns, bible readings, and culminated in the solemn bridal benediction. The couple kneeled at the altar and a fine piece of cloth (called a "paell" in Swedish)was held over them by four unmarried people. The blessing of the bride included many words from the Old Testament, particularly the apocryphic book of Tobias. It included wishes that she should be good to her husband like Rachel, wise like Rebecca, and faithful like Sarah. Let her be fertile, chaste and innocent, and let them both live to see their offspring to the third and fourth generation. The bridal benediction is very old - the first known example is from the 5th century.
After this benediction a mass (communion) followed. The ritual kissing of the bride belongs here, at the moment of the kiss of peace. The priest kissed the bridegroom, who kissed the bride, and then the bride passed the kiss on to the women while an assistant cleric brought it from the priest to the male side of the church (of course the men were on the south side and the women on the north side in the nave).
Interestingly enough, the formula "I now pronounce you man and wife" was not used everywhere. It occurs in late period German and French rituals, but there is evidence that in older times, the priest left the confirmation of the marriage to God: "May the God of Abraham, Isac and Jacob unite you!"
Afterwards, in the evening, there was the bedding. The Church adopted this pagan custom and converted it from a juridical act into a blessing of the matrimonial bed.
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